why does he do that

The phrase "why does he do that" is widely associated with the book "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft. The book explores the motivations and psychology behind abusive behavior in men. According to Bancroft, abusive behavior is often deliberate and done to gain power and control over the partner rather than being a loss of control or purely emotional reaction. Abusers typically use manipulation, intimidation, and violence intentionally to maintain dominance. This behavior is tied to beliefs of superiority and entitlement, and while abusers may give excuses like trauma or addiction, these are often deflections from their conscious choices to abuse. The abusers tend to be aware of the harm they cause but prioritize their control and power over their victim's well-being. In summary, from this perspective, "he does that" (abuses or controls) because it benefits him by asserting power and control, and he is often calculating and intentional about it rather than acting out of uncontrollable anger or impulse. The book emphasizes that abusers need to accept responsibility for their actions to change, and understanding their motivations is key for victims to navigate and escape abusive relationships safely.