"What We Talk About When We Talk About Love" is a 1981 short story by Raymond Carver that explores the complex and often contradictory nature of love through a conversation between two couples drinking gin in Albuquerque
. The characters-Mel, a cardiologist, his wife Terri, and their friends Nick and Laura-share personal stories and reflections on love, revealing its multifaceted and sometimes painful aspects. Key themes and elements include:
- Different perspectives on love: Mel sees love as spiritual and profound, while Terri recounts an abusive relationship where her ex-boyfriend's violent behavior was, in her view, a twisted form of love. Mel rejects this idea, highlighting the difficulty in defining love
- Love’s contradictions: Mel reflects on how he once loved his first wife deeply but now hates her, questioning what happens to love over time. Terri’s story about her ex, Ed, who loved her so much he tried to kill her and eventually committed suicide, adds a dark dimension to their discussion
- Physical and emotional love: The couples discuss both carnal desire and sentimental, day-to-day caring, acknowledging that love involves multiple layers and impulses
- The elusive nature of love: Despite their talk, the characters struggle to pin down a clear definition or understanding of love. Their conversation ends without resolution, symbolizing love’s complexity and the limits of language to capture it fully
The story is minimalist and realistic, capturing the nuances of human relationships and the often painful, contradictory feelings that accompany love
. In summary, Carver’s story uses a simple setting and dialogue to delve into the profound, ambiguous, and sometimes troubling realities of love, showing that it is an emotion that defies easy explanation or definition
