Parentification is a process of role reversal whereby a child or adolescent is obliged to act as a parent to their own parent or sibling. It occurs when parents look to their children for emotional and/or practical support, rather than providing it, and the child becomes the caregiver. Two distinct types of parentification have been identified: instrumental parentification and emotional parentification. Instrumental parentification involves the child completing physical tasks for the family, such as looking after a sick relative, paying bills, or providing assistance to younger siblings that would normally be provided by a parent. Emotional parentification occurs when parents impose their emotional needs on their children and seek emotional and mental support from them.
Parentification can be harmful when it is unfair and significantly burdens the child. It can disrupt the natural process of maturing, causing long-term negative effects on a child’s physical and mental health. Signs of parentification may include acting as a mediator between parents, being complimented on being mature or responsible by outsiders, struggling to show emotions due to fear of a parent’s response, and feeling more emotionally mature than a parent. Elder children, often firstborns, are chosen for the familial parental role, and often, a younger sibling then takes on the firstborn role.
Parentification can happen when a parent has a physical or emotional impairment, such as neglect or abuse as a child, a mental health condition, an alcohol or substance use disorder, or a disabled or seriously ill parent or sibling. The goal of parentification treatment is to repair the damage that arises from a disrupted childhood, so the parentified child can gradually heal from the painful consequences of those early experiences and build skills for developing healthy boundaries and caring relationships.
