It’s understandable to have boundaries about when you expect your child to move out, especially as they reach adulthood. Whether you’re an "asshole" for telling your daughter she needs to move out at 18 really depends on the context and how you communicated it. Here are some factors to consider:
- How you said it: Was it told with kindness and explanation, or was it abrupt and harsh? Framing your expectations positively, explaining reasons, and offering guidance can make a big difference.
- Her situation: Is she prepared emotionally, financially, and practically to live independently at 18? Sometimes parents set expectations but also support their children through the transition.
- Your family’s culture and circumstances: In some cultures or families, moving out at 18 is standard, while in others, it’s typical for children to stay longer.
- Communication and support: Are you willing to help her plan for moving out, such as helping her learn skills, budgeting, or contributing to rent?
If you’ve made your expectations clear but continue to support and guide her, you’re not necessarily an asshole. However, if the message felt harsh or left her feeling unsupported, maybe some additional compassion or dialogue might help. If you want, you can share more details about the conversation, and I can help you understand better or suggest how to approach the situation.
